Turtles are not to be messed with. One should know to be careful before calling one “a turtle” because it may very well be like using the N word to them. They are fine with the generic term, Chelonians (from the ancient Greek word, chelone) proof to which can be found in the vocabulary of all people that have to deal with them closely (by this i mean close to their beak): vets, oceanographers, scientists and conservationists.

Chelonians are super cool creatures and here’s why i think most superheros comic books depict, should have a carapace:

1. they have superb night vision. they see in colors and are capable of distinguishing colors ranging from nearly ultraviolet to red. thank god they dont have infrared vision cause some of us enjoy maintaining our privacy while swimming.
2. their organs don’t break down with time or become less efficient but they wish we didnt know that, cause now genetic researchers are studying their genome to find those longevity genes we wish we’d possess.
3. the earliest known chelonians date 215 million years back, way before other reptilians like lizards and snakes. to date, there are no known species of chelonians where adults care for the young. if you think of how painful human parenting is for both parents and children you’ll find its no wonder we die so soon.

From all chelonians i am most fond of the sea turtles. Males will never leave water and females do it only when they lay their eggs. Turtle eggs are awesome too. No wonder most species are endangered. The egg consists of mostly yolk with very little albumen that will not coagulate when cooked. If your mouth is watering while reading this you are disgusting. Ten ave maria’s and 10 our father’s should do it for you. Buddhists wont do it – they’re mostly harmless, Muslims either – cause its not Halal, Jews may sell them (Florida is the biggest exporter of turtle meat and eggs – mainly to china) but won’t eat them cause they’re not Kosher. Of course there’s nothing to do about Japanese and Chinese people. They eat anything.

They are the only reptilians i like.

Cezar

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